Im at strip club and am horny
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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