i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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