no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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