girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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