Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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