There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
