My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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