yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
