All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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