I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
