i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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