i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
