then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize