I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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