i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
