Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
