we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
