Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
