"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
