So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
