my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
