Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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