just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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