i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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