she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
