I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
