i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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