just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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