After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
