i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
