i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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