I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
