I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
