I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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