Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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