You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
