She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
