just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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