i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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