Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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