you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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