I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
