So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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