OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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