She announced her abortion via fbk
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
