The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
