sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
