just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
