there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
