wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize