I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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