i just google imaged poop.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
