I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
