ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
