Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she smelled like a LAN party
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize