can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
