Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
