i don't like sucking hair
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
