She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
