Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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