Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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