I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
