I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
